👽💾☄️ LAZERBEAM BACKUP 3000 ☄️💾👽

ALL FILES MUST BLEED

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⚡ What is this?

lazerbeam.sh is a Linux terminal script that backs up photos from your iPhone using rsync over GVFS. It handles all the pain of USB transfers, works around iOS quirks, shows real-time progress, and is fully resumable. It was born because my spouse’s phone had tens of thousands of chaotic, half-blurry, WTF photos and memes... and she said “copying them takes too long — just skip it”. Which, for my broken brain, was obviously a challenge. 😈 I didn’t have a Mac nearby, so this little daemon was born.

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💣 Features

• Detects your iPhone mounted via GVFS (gphoto2)
• Auto-generates .env and .env.example if missing
• ✅ Resumable rsync (interrupt-safe, unplug-safe)
• 💀 Shows each folder + file count + progress
• 🧠 SHA256 post-run duplicate check
  • compares file count and folder size (iPhone vs backup)
• 📓 Logs everything to a text file
• Plays a bell sound when complete (optional: can be silenced)
• Supports:
  • --help flag to describe usage
  • environment variable overrides:
    • BACKUP_DIR
    • LOG_FILE
    • DISABLE_SOUND
• 💻 Works with immutable distros like Bluefin/Silverblue via toolbox/distrobox
• 🤘 ASCII dystopian-metal banner (generated via patorjk.com/software/taag), because yes

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🧪 Requirements

• Linux (tested on Fedora Silverblue & Bluefin)
• iPhone mounted via GVFS (via GNOME Files, nautilus etc.)
• rsync, sha256sum, gio — should already be installed
• If using immutable system: run it inside toolbox or distrobox

⚠️ macOS users: this script won’t work there — use AirDrop, Finder, or photos app. This tool is for people who chose pain (aka Linux on desktop ❤️‍🔥).

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🚀 Usage

1. Plug in your iPhone.
2. Unlock it and tap “Trust” on the prompt.
3. Run:

chmod +x lazerbeam.sh
./lazerbeam.sh

Optionally, specify a backup path:

./lazerbeam.sh /your/custom/folder

The default path is:

~/Pictures/iphone-lazerbackup/

You’ll see per-folder status and live rsync output:

📁 Found 21 folders. Deploying lazers...

[1/21] 🔫 Checking 202310__
📥 Copying 645 file(s) to ~/Pictures/iphone-lazerbackup/202310__

CLI flags

• --help – shows usage information

Environment variables

You can override default behavior with:

BACKUP_DIR="/custom/path"
LOG_FILE="/custom/logfile.log"
DISABLE_SOUND=1

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🛑 What happens on interrupt?

• You can hit Ctrl+C or unplug the phone — no problem.
• Next run will skip copied files using checksums (no duplicates).
• Interrupts are logged in lazerbeam.log.

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🧪 Post-check: duplicate detection

After transfer, a sha256sum scan runs across all copied files. True duplicates (same hash) are listed in:

~/Pictures/iphone-lazerbackup/lazerbeam-duplicates.txt

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🛰️ MINI-LAZER

A lightweight standalone script (mini-lazer.sh) that verifies if all your photos were backed up — without copying anything.

What it does:

• Compares file count and folder size between iPhone and backup
• Displays ✅ / ⚠️ / ❌ result for each folder
• Logs the result (same log file as main script)

Usage:

./mini-lazer.sh

You can override the backup folder:

BACKUP_DIR="/your/custom/path" ./mini-lazer.sh

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🔍 Example scenario (totally hypothetical, sweatycheese.jpg)

I needed to offload 160 GB of photos from my girlfriend's iPhone,and her image library was basically a postmodern collage of:

• memes from 2016
• blurry pigeons
• ten selfies with the same face
• 3,911 photos of her dog This script restored my sanity.

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🧃 License

MIT. Feel free to fork, adapt, or contribute chaos.

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☕ Support this madness

If LAZERBEAM saved you hours of scrolling through blurry memes and cursed screenshots — consider buying me a coffee. It helps me stay caffeinated enough to pump-out more absurd stuff like this one.